


Underneath My Skin

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: Changing Pasts [4]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Cheating, Conversations, Crushes, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, Making Out, Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2020-12-21 02:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21067094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: After a hook up with Zac things seem to get more complicated for Natalie than she ever really expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you read the one shot Can't Take Back All Her Regrets that is what chapter one is but chapter two will be totally new content :).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natalie nervously chewed on her lip as she sat in the hospital waiting room by herself. Not missing the fact that people kept giving her double takes, like they were surprised that she was here or surprised that Taylor had the audacity to bring her to Oklahoma when his wife had just given birth to their first child.

In all honesty she was surprised she had agreed so readily and now as she sat here alone, Taylor back in the room with his wife and his new daughter, Natalie kept asking herself why she had come.

She didn't belong here no matter how much Taylor had wanted her here. No matter how much he claimed he couldn't have done this without her, she should have made him. She should have taken one look at the wedding band on his finger and known this was a horrible idea. 

"Natalie," Diana said bringing her out of her thoughts and Natalie blushed, not even having realized that Diana had moved to sit down beside her. "Isaac and Zac are going to head to the house. Do you want to go with them?" she questioned and Natalie wasn't stupid. She knew Diana wasn't really asking her.

No, Diana was telling her to go because Diana knew she shouldn't be here either. If she stayed much longer Michelle would find out and so far she hadn't because thankfully none of Michelle's family were here though she had overheard Diana and Walker talking and she knew they were flying in.

They'd be here eventually and if they saw Natalie there was no way they'd keep it from Michelle and the last thing the happy new mom needed was the news that her husband had been out of town cheating on her. That he'd brought the ex he had cheated with back to Tulsa with him and that he may choose his ex over his wife in the end.

That was something that should be held off for later, if it happened so Natalie only nodded her head as she looked around the waiting room for Isaac and Zac. Not surprised when she saw them already standing at the entrance and waiting on her.

"Yeah," she told Diana with a fake smile. "I'll go with them," she said before standing up and heading to where they were at.

Having to look away when she saw the look Isaac gave her. Like he was disgusted with her and what she had done with his brother. It wasn't like she could blame him but she hated seeing someone look at her like that. It only made her shame worse.

*****

Leaving the bathroom after she had showered and changed into a t-shirt and a pair of boxers that Zac loaned her once they had made it to the Hanson Family home, Natalie made her way to the guest bedroom, nearly jumping at the sight of Zac.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," she told him watching as he looked up at her sheepishly. "Figured you'd be off playing some video games in your room."

Zac laughed as he moved to lean against one of the pillows on her bed, Natalie letting herself move to sit beside him and getting comfortable.

"I would have been but I got off the phone with Kate and she wanted me to check up on you."

"Of course she did," Natalie sighed because Kate was a good friend who had warned her this was a bad idea. "She told us this was a bad idea."

Zac once again laughed and Natalie smiled softly when she heard a tiny snort leave him, "Of course she did cause Kate knows best, right?" he asked her and Natalie sensed the sarcasm there. Knew it was there because Kate tried to mother Zac at times more than being his girlfriend.

Natalie figured that would be enough to drive anyone insane and maybe deep down on some level she got why Zac and Kate were so on and off. She understood why Zac got fed up with Kate because she too sometimes got fed up with her as well.

Kate sometimes did the same things to her that she did to Zac and it was annoying as fuck.

"Oh yes, Kate always knows right," Natalie retorted with just as much sarcasm. "But this time I think she was truly right. This was a bad idea."

"Then why did you come if it was such a bad idea?" Zac questioned her and there was genuine curiosity in his voice.

Natalie knew he wasn't asking that just to mock her. He really wanted to know why she had come when she knew it was wrong.

"Because Taylor needed me here and it's as simple as that," she confessed hating her words because they proved how pathetic she was. "I love him and he needed me here so I came."

"He's not worth it," Zac told her and his honesty surprised her because she had never heard that much honesty from him. He'd always been the boy who idolized Taylor and now here he was speaking ill of him and telling Natalie that Taylor wasn't worthy of her love.

She knew that herself, after all Taylor had cheated on her so many times and with more than just Michelle, though Michelle had been the one to get pregnant, not the others.

But she hoped maybe he'd change, that if she gave him another chance he could be worthy of her love.

"You deserve better than him," Zac spoke in her silence and Natalie knew she shouldn't be but his words made her angry. Angry enough that she moved from the bed and looked down at him with a glare.

"And what right do you have to tell me this?" she asked him with a sigh knowing she didn't need to let her anger out on him but she was. "You're just some silly boy who has never been properly in love and you're just settling for my best friend," she snapped and the moment the words left her mouth she regretted them.

Her regret growing when she saw the hurt look on his face.

"I may be some silly boy," Zac said as he finally stood up the hurt look staying on his face. "But I know what love is because I feel it for you," he muttered out and his words made Natalie pause.

Her eyes locking with his as it seemed both of them were rendered silent by his admission of loving her.

"You love me?" Natalie asked him finally willing up her courage after a few too many beats of silence, not sure the silence was one she liked right now.

Nodding his head Zac looked away from her then, "I've had a crush on you ever since the day I saw you backstage," he confessed softly like he was ashamed. "Then the more I got to know you thanks to you dating Taylor and me dating Kate, god Natalie I've fallen in love with you when I should be in love with Kate. So yes, I know what proper love is and if Taylor loved you he wouldn't have cheated. If he loved you he'd have left Michelle even if our parents did pressure him into it because I would have done it if I were him. Then again if I were him I wouldn't have cheated on you."

Swallowing hard at Zac's words Natalie felt tears going down her cheek and she wasn't sure why she was crying. If it was because of his words or because of the stress of the situation Taylor had put her in and that she had allowed herself to be put in because he loved him.

"Zac..." she sighed out not even sure what to say. "I don't know what to say," she shrugged deciding honesty was best here, so Zac wouldn't think she was being rude.

"Don't say anything," Zac said as he walked to where Natalie was and Natalie shut her eyes as she felt Zac wipe away her tears, his fingers calloused slightly and she knew it was from his drum use.

That or from too many hours spent playing video games.

"I know you'll never love me back. Not when you're in love with Taylor, who doesn't deserve your love."

Not saying anything Natalie opened her eyes as she looked at Zac and before she could second guess herself she was moving in, letting her lips crash against his in a kiss that was far from chaste. Her hands going to rest on the hem of his shirt as her body moved into his.

Her eyes falling shut only when she felt his arms around her waist. His lips soon moving with hers as he responded to the kiss with a hunger that surprised her and she couldn't help but wonder how long he had wanted this.

Just a simple chance to kiss her.

Pulling away from the kiss she looked up at him as she caught her breath, a blush now present on her cheeks. "I'm sorry for what I said to you," she told him and as she spoke she made no effort to move away from him. Instead she let her forehead rest against his softly. "I want to show you how sorry I am."

"And how do you plan to do that Nat?" Zac questioned her with such a boyish innocence.

An innocence that made her throb between her legs in ways she hadn't expected too.

"Take your clothes off," Natalie told him not even answering his question but as he looked at her, a blush forming on his own cheeks, she knew he understood what she meant.

Zac looked away from her then all sheepish and shy and it only made the throbbing between Natalie's legs grow. "Are you sure?" he asked her once he finally looked back at her.

Natalie nodded her head as she moved away from him then. Her own hands moving to take off the clothes she borrowed from him and as she undressed she felt his eyes on her as he too took his clothes off. Natalie not missing the way he almost looked like he wanted to hide once he was naked, his stomach being sucked in some and she couldn't help the frown.

He didn't have to hide his bodily flaws from her.

Once they were both naked Natalie only gave Zac a smile before walking to the bed and after he followed her, sitting down beside her, she let her legs fall open. Smirking when she heard him take in a breath.

"You like what you see?" Natalie asked him as her voice dropped. Her hand moving between her legs as she began to rub at her own flesh.

"Y..yeah," Zac muttered out his voice catching slightly and Natalie couldn't help but smile more when she saw his blush grow. His hand going to his cock which he began to stroke almost in time with Natalie's own hand movements.

"Can you touch me?" Natalie asked him as she let her hand slip away from herself. "I want you to touch me Zac."

Zac visibly swallowed hard and Natalie swore that some of his blush seemed to drain from his cheeks and she knew then, in that instant that he and Kate had never done this.

Zac was so inexperienced in sex or the female body and she'd most likely be the first girl he got to touch like this in a sexual manner and it did nothing to kill her arousal. It only seemed to heighten just slightly.

"You and Kate have never done this have you?" Natalie questioned before she could stop herself and her words came out as more of a statement than a question really.

She knew in her gut they hadn't.

Zac shook his head as he moved closer to her, his hand falling off his cock then and Natalie saw he was finally at full hardness. "No," he answered sounding almost ashamed. "I've wanted to do more but all Kate is okay with is kissing and me occasionally copping a feel under her shirt."

"Then I'll teach you what to do," Natalie told him as she reached for his hand, putting it between her legs then and letting out a small moan at how good his calloused fingers felt on her bare flesh. "Do you trust me?"

When Zac nodded his head Natalie leaned in to kiss him softly, her hand guiding his as she began to rub at herself again. Loving the way it felt when he bit down on her lip hard as she made his hand explore her pussy. The lips already feeling sensitive and a wetness already gathered on them.

A wetness that only seemed to grow the more she let his hand rub at her lips.

After a while of just having Zac rub at the outside of her pussy, Natalie deepened the kiss as she guided two of his fingers inside of her. Feeling it as Zac seemed to hesitate in the kiss then and she pulled away, looking at him with a smile of encouragement then.

"You can do this Zac," she reassured him her words soft as she began to move his fingers in and out of her in a nice rhythm. Her hips occasionally rocking up in time with his fingers. "I want you to do this," she told him doing her best not to think that she shouldn't want that.

He was still dating Kate and this could hurt her if she knew and god this would definitely hurt Taylor even if it shouldn't since he was married to Michelle.

Closing her eyes Natalie pulled away from the kiss as she let her hand leave Zac's now and she was surprised at how easy it seemed he could keep his fingers moving without her helping him and as she let her hips continue to move with his fingers she knew then that no matter how reserved he had seemed at first that he had grown to like what they were doing.

He wanted this just as much as she did, hell he had probably jerked off to thoughts of doing this with her before. Especially if he was telling the truth about being in love with her and she didn't doubt him.

There was a sincerity to his words and the way he had looked when he said it that she knew it was the truth.

It was only when she felt her orgasm starting to come that Natalie let her hand go back to Zac's. Guiding his fingers to her clit where she showed him how to rub her the way she liked and it was only a few seconds of that before she was coming undone. Her body trembling as her orgasm came.

Her head seeming to fall farther back as she smiled a true genuine smile. The first time since arriving in Tulsa it seemed all her worries had faded and it was because of Zac and what she'd let him do to her.

Opening her eyes Natalie moved her head back up, letting her had fall away from Zac's again and not long after he moved his hand off her. Natalie not sure why she felt empty without the contact of his skin on hers. It wasn't a feeling she had expected to get from Zac.

But he had given her that and now, well, now she wanted to return the favor.

"Can I jerk you off?" Natalie asked him deciding to be blunt about it and she had to admit, it was comical the way his eyes grew at her words. She'd taken him by surprise with her bluntness.

"You don't have too. I can do it myself."

"I want too though, so can I?"

When Zac nodded after she had asked again Natalie let her hand reach out, wrapping it around his cock softly and the moan he let out as her hand went around him was almost sinful.

She wanted to hear more moans like that from him, which was what propelled her to keep moving her hand on his cock.

*****

Looking at Zac after they were both cleaned up Natalie furrowed her brows because once again she was at a loss of what to say. 

"I know what you're thinking," Zac told her as he got redressed, Natalie sitting down on the guest bed because she was already dressed again. "You're thinking how this was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened even if you wanted to show me you were sorry for lashing out at me."

Laughing Natalie shook her head, "I wasn't thinking that even if you are right that it was a mistake and it probably shouldn't have happened," she sighed wishing she hadn't let her sexual libido do the thinking for her when it came to showing him she was sorry. "I was thinking that I don't really know what to say."

"So does this mean things will be awkward between us?" Zac asked her and Natalie heard a sense of fear in his voice. Like he was afraid it would be mean that and he didn't want it.

Of course he wouldn't because of his crush on her.

"I don't know," Natalie admitted with another sigh. "I hope not, I don't want that. I think I just have to come to terms with the fact that I'm a shitty friend who just betrayed my best friend...and I betrayed Taylor too," she added on knowing she shouldn't feel guilt for that still. Not when Taylor was still married to Michelle.

They could never have a commitment when he was married to Michelle and therefore she hadn't cheated on him but he claimed to love her more than his wife and Natalie foolishly hoped he'd leave her now that it seemed he had courage or some courage anyway.

After all it took balls to bring her here to Tulsa or even ask her to come but well things depended now on how Taylor felt with his baby being born. It had to be more real to him now the situation both he and Michelle were in.

"You didn't betray Tay," Zac stated as if he could read her thoughts. "And maybe Kate deserved what we did for how much of a bitch she can be at times."

Natalie frowned at the Kate bit because while she could be insufferable at times she didn't think Kate deserved what they had done. But she didn't argue that point with Zac. Figured she'd lose if she did anyway.

"If you say so," she said choosing a neutral point to stand on then. "You should probably go to bed though. You're going to be exhausted tomorrow and you aren't the one with a newborn."

Zac laughed but instead of saying anything right away he leaned down to kiss her on the lips and Natalie felt her eyes flutter shut as she kissed him back briefly. Knowing the best option would have been to push him away but she'd never done what was best.

When Zac pulled away from the kiss, Natalie just looked up at him feeling a bit breathless and once again unable to say anything.

"Goodnight Natalie," Zac spoke as he turned to leave the room and after he left Natalie couldn't help it as she laid back on the bed. Another smile on her face.

Maybe she'd have a good night after all and sweet dreams too.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking the next morning, Zac slowly blinked his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. Everything from last night seeming to come rushing back to him. 

Michelle giving birth and Taylor bringing Natalie to Tulsa and the hospital which was just a dumb fucking move in Zac;s opinion. Then again everything that Taylor did was a dumb move in Zac's opinion.

After all he had Natalie so why had he even had to cheat on her with Michelle? Why did his brother have to ruin a good relationship and break the heart of a girl who didn't deserve it.

Natalie had never deserved Taylor and Zac had always deep down resented his brother for getting her. It had been him who had the crush on her when he first saw her. It should have been him but of course it wasn't him.

Taylor had gotten her and Zac had settled for Kate, Natalie's best friend and a girl who he had come to like though he wasn't sure he could ever love her.

How could he love someone who acted like his mom more than his girlfriend?

Maybe that was why it had been so easy to cheat on her last night with Natalie. Because he didn't truly love her and because he had always wanted Natalie. Had always wondered what it would be like if she showed him just a little bit of affection and stopped treating him as the boy who was Taylor's brother.

The boy who was dating her best friend.

A best friend who Natalie had also betrayed last night when she had let Zac's hand go between her legs to finger her and when she had let her own hand wrap around his cock to get him off. 

She had hurt Kate who was in the dark though Zac knew there was no way that Kate could stay in the dark. Either Natalie would tell Kate or he would.

That would be only fair he thought because he didn't want to become his brother too much. He didn't want to keep having secret side hook ups while the girl he was dating was unaware of everything that was happening. He wasn't like Taylor even if he idolized him in ways besides resenting him.

Sighing Zac slowly moved from the bed, knowing he needed to get up. He was hoping that he could talk to Natalie some more about last night, hope that things wouldn't be awkward.

She had said last night that she didn't know if they would be and he didn't want them to be. Even if he wasn't sure what he wanted from Natalie. 

He just knew he couldn't go back to being the boy who was the brother of the guy she loved. He couldn't go back to being the boyfriend of her best friend. Not after he knew what she felt like inside, not after he knew what it was like having her hand around his cock.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts Zac opened his bedroom door, coming to a pause when he came face to face with Natalie who was standing there with her hand raised like she was about to know. A startled look on her face now that Zac was standing in front of her.

"I was just coming to talk to you," Natalie stated even though it was obvious that she was. "We need to talk."

Zac nodded his head as he moved aside to let Natalie into his room, "I was thinking the same thing," he told her as he chewed on his lip once she was in his room. "That we needed to talk," he said closing his door because well, he lived with several other people and this seemed like the kind of conversation that needed privacy.

"It's about last night, I mean what I wanted to talk about," Natalie mumbled nervously and Zac frowned hating that she was nervous.

It was almost like it was a sign that things would be awkward between them. No matter how much he didn't want that it seemed like it would happen.

"Are you here to say it was a mistake?" Zac asked watching as Natalie sat on his bed, his body moving instinctively to sit down beside her. "I know you said last night you wouldn't say that but sleep can change things."

Natalie shook her head, "I don't think it was a mistake," she told him sounding sure in her words and less nervous. "What is a mistake is how much I liked it," she revealed and Zac watched as a blush built on her cheeks.

The sight of the blush making Zac's heart flutter some like some pathetic boy with a crush. Then again he was some pathetic boy with a crush.

"How is that a mistake?" Zac asked her not sure if he understood how it was a mistake to like what they had done so much.

"For one you're dating Kate," Natalie reminded him with a sigh. "And another is because you are Taylor's brother. I know you said I didn't betray him but I did. He loves me regardless of how wrong that is of him and I betrayed that Zac and Kate loves you and she's my friend and she'd be devastated by what we did."

Falling silent Zac took in what Natalie said and he hated that she had a point. He hated that she was being all moral and noble when what Zac wanted was to lean over right now and kiss her again like he had last night.

He wanted to hear moaning for him and only him and yet she was making the idea of what he wanted hard with how right she was in what she was saying.

"Okay so maybe liking it was a mistake we both made," Zac said wanting to let her know that he had liked what they had done too but he was sure that was already obvious.

Last night he had confessed to being in love with her, something he couldn't even say about Kate, so of course it was probably plain he had liked what had happened last night.

"But even if it was, I don't want to go back to how things were before," he finished as they locked eyes after he had spoken. "I can't."

Natalie visibly swallowed hard at his words, "You have too," she said, though her voice was soft and not as confident. Like she wasn't sure she wanted that or like she wasn't sure she could fight him if he resisted what she was trying to say.

"No, I don't have too," Zac told her as he moved a bit closer to her. "I could break up with Kate and then everything would be fine," he said, though he knew it was a lie.

Nothing would be fine as long as Taylor was in love with her, because he knew Natalie was still attached to that love. She'd never fully want Zac when she could have Taylor and his messy life.

"You'd really break up with Kate for me?" Natalie questioned sounding surprised by that, like the idea of anyone leaving any girl for her was hard for her to believe.

It was that moment that Zac swore he hated Taylor some because he knew that came from how Taylor had done her. How he'd cheated and then had to marry Michelle and who the heck knew what Taylor had said or done when he went to Georgia and brought Natalie back with him.

Whatever it was he doubted it was that he'd leave his wife. There was no way he could because their parents would flip and all the children did love to make their parents happy, Taylor most of all.

Zac nodded his head without saying a word, figuring that a head nod was all he'd need to answer that question. Of course he'd break up with Kate for her.

Natalie briefly let a smile cross her face but only briefly. So brief that Zac almost thought he had made it up but he knew he hadn't.

"That's sweet," she told him with a sigh before running a hand through her hair. "But I'm not going to ask you to do that for me and I can't ask you that because it would hurt Kate and the last thing I want is to hurt her even more than I already have."

"You wouldn't have to ask me Nat. I'd do it anyway if it meant we could still do things like we did last night," Zac explained though he knew his words probably wouldn't change her mind.

She may have felt weak when it came to this argument but surprisingly she was being strong and not giving in. Not giving Zac what he wanted which was her. It had always been fucking her that he wanted.

Shaking her head Natalie stood from the bed, "No," she said as she looked down at him with a frown on her face. "We can't and that is why it was a mistake to like it so much," she continued not even looking at him as she now stood in the middle of his room in front of his bed. "I'm going to shower and then I'm going to have Isaac drive me to the airport. It was a mistake to come here now and I see that," she finished and Zac knew she didn't just mean because of Michelle and the baby.

It was a mistake because what they had done had opened a can of worms between them that she wanted to put the lid back on before it was too late.

Zac had to fight the urge to tell her it was too late to put the lid back on. He was already certain he could never go back to how things were no matter what she wanted.

"What about Taylor?" he asked choosing the topic of his brother instead. "He'll be upset you left so soon."

Natalie finally looked at Zac then, their brown eyes locking, "He'll have to understand. Someone maybe you can make him see that me being here was wrong and he doesn't need me to be strong. That he has his daughter now and maybe one day he can come to love Michelle and surprise himself."

Zac laughed at that because he knew that would go over well. Especially when Taylor had convinced himself that he could never love the woman he had to marry.

"He's stubborn and he'll never listen to reason."

"I guess it runs in the family," Natalie spoke giving him a pointed look. "Which is why I have to just go. I have leave Tay and I have to leave you and it's for the best."

"I think you're making the wrong choice," Zac told her returning her pointed look. "At least in leaving me but do whatever you feel is best," he sighed not sure he wanted to argue with her. Afraid that if he did it would only strain things between them and he didn't want that.

Not when he was still holding out some false hope that somehow she'd change her mind and come around.

Nodding Natalie smiled again but this one was sad looking, "I am doing what is best," she told him and without another word, she turned to leave his room. More than likely to go shower and then get Isaac to take her to the airport.

Zac already dreading having to tell Taylor that Natalie had left.

*****

Zac wasn't sure how long he'd been waiting in Natalie's room or well his parent's guest room but it felt like it had been forever. After she had left his room he had dressed and went down to breakfast, surprised to find his parents back and not at the hospital.

Though they said they were going back later today. Both of them wanting to see their granddaughter and asking Zac if he wanted to go. He had told them he'd think about because truth was he wasn't sure he wanted to see his new niece or maybe he didn't want to see Taylor.

He knew Taylor would ask about Nat and again Zac was still dreading having to tell him that she had decided to leave.

After breakfast Zac had made his way back upstairs and went into the guest bedroom, hoping to see Natalie but of course she wasn't there, though her stuff still was so he knew she hadn't left yet. She was probably still in the shower so Zac had decided to wait on her.

And he was still here waiting on her. Running a hand through his hair and wondering what he'd say when she came back into the room. What excuse could he use other than just wanting to see he before she left.

Maybe the truth would be best even if it made him look pathetic and hopelessly gone for her.

It was the truth in the end, he was hopelessly and pathetically gone for her. 

"Zac?" Natalie asked and Zac came out of his thoughts as he turned towards the door to see Natalie standing there, fully dressed with her hair still wet and the sight was somehow adorable to Zac.

Zac hating the way his cock twitched though as his mind wondered what she would look like completely naked and wet. Damn teenage hormones always ruining a sweet moment.

"What are you doing here?" Natalie asked another question once Zac was looking at her. A questioning look on her face.

Opening his mouth to answer her, Zac blushed when nothing came out and taking a deep breath he stood from the bed, walking to where Natalie was and kissing her hard and passionately on the lips, hoping that she didn't push him away.

The kiss was his only way to show what he wanted. That he just wanted to see her. Feel her lips on his one last time before she left to go back to Georgia because he didn't know if he'd see her again if she really was trying to distance herself from Taylor and him as well.

He felt it in his bones that even if he did actually stay with Kate that Natalie would find ways to avoid him when he went to Georgia to visit her so right now he was using this kiss to savor his last few minutes with Natalie.

He was using it to say everything he apparently couldn't say out loud. The I love you. The I don't want you to go. The please just be with me one more time.

It was all in this kiss and when Natalie responded back instead of pushing him away he had some hope that she realized what he was doing. What he was saying.


	3. Chapter 3

Kissing Zac back Natalie couldn't help but let out a moan and she hated that she was enjoying this kiss because he was dating her best friend and she loved his brother, even if their actions in the past twenty-four hours didn't seem to prove any of that true.

Natalie was not even sure what had come over her last night or now.

Maybe she was just still upset at herself for letting Taylor talk her into coming to Tulsa when she knew better. When she knew he had a wife and a baby and she couldn't ruin that family even if they weren't a happy family.

Michelle may have been willing to sleep with Taylor while Natalie had been dating him but did she really want to be the other woman so willingly?

Even if she had willingly already had sex with Taylor before coming to Tulsa.

She wasn't sure she could live with herself if she did that because she'd be no better than Michelle had been and maybe she wanted to be better.

Pulling away from the kiss Natalie just looked at Zac blinking a few times as she came to her senses.

"We shouldn't be doing that," she told him knowing she wasn't helping her case any by fooling around with him since he was with Kate and again she would still be no better than Michelle.

Messing around with taken boys was something Natalie didn't want to do.

"Because I'm with Kate?" Zac asked and she knew that wasn't what he really meant because it was written all over his face.

What Zac really meant was he thought she said that because she didn't have feelings for him and if Natalie were being honest before last night maybe she would have said she didn't but obviously you didn't let someone you didn't have feelings for put their fingers inside of you.

You didn't put your hand around their cock and get them off and you sure as hell didn't kiss them like they had just kissed.

"Only because of that," Natalie told him, wanting him to know it wasn't because she didn't feel anything for him. She did feel something but she wasn't sure what.

She wasn't sure and she knew she couldn't figure it out.

"Well that and because of Taylor too," she added on knowing Taylor wouldn't be happy with things either. Taylor claimed to love her and what she'd done with Zac would devastate him if he meant it and she was sure he did. 

He seemed genuine with her the last few days and she'd hate to think that was all lies. He'd lied to her before though but there was something about this time that seemed different.

Zac swallowed hard as he nodded his head, "Taylor doesn't deserve your loyalty," he told her and maybe he was right, after all that Taylor put her through he didn't deserve any kindness that Natalie gave him or any of her love that she still had for him.

"Then what about Kate?" Natalie questioned with an arched eyebrow. "Does she deserve to be hurt?"

"Do you want me to be honest?" Zac asked her and Natalie knew whatever he was going to say about Kate would probably be harsh and maybe she didn't want to hear it.

Kate was her best friend and she wasn't supposed to want others to rant to her about her best friend but being Kate's friend she also knew how Kate was and could be.

"You can be honest with me Zac," Natalie told him with a nod. "So please do be honest and tell me what you really think about whether Kate deserves to be hurt."

Zac sighed and Natalie guessed while he wanted to be honest he was also hesitant.

At least that proved he cared deep down and he wasn't just some heartless bastard and she hoped he stayed that way. That somehow the world didn't taint him.

"She's a bitch a lot of the times Nat," Zac frowned looking conflicted. "Always telling me what I should do and how I should look and I get sick of it and if I'm being honest I only settled for her because Taylor had my first pick."

Blushing at his words Natalie knew she still needed to get used to Zac's crush on her, something she had been so oblivious to for so damn long.

She wasn't even sure how she hadn't noticed because now that she thought things through it all made sense in ways.

But apparently she'd been blind or wanted to be because of her own feelings for Taylor and the fact that Taylor had wanted her.

How many girls got to say Taylor Hanson wanted them? Not many and of course Natalie wanted to bask in it, though then again how many could say the same about Zac and maybe she should have kept her options open.

If she'd chosen Zac she doubted she would have gotten her heart broken when he had to marry someone else because he got them pregnant because Zac wouldn't have done that.

Zac wouldn't have cheated on her not like he was doing to Kate because Zac loved her while he wasn't in love with Kate.

"So what you're saying is if I asked you to leave Kate that you'd do it?" Natalie asked him and while she'd asked that question she knew she would never ask it.

If Zac were to leave Kate she'd want it to happen on it's own not because she asked. She'd feel wrong about it that way.

Then again maybe she should feel worse about what had happened last night too but in all honesty she didn't.

"If you asked me too yeah," Zac nodded his head as they locked eyes. "But I think I'm going to do it soon on my own anyway."

At those last words Natalie let out a small sigh knowing that was what she'd rather happen but she felt if she suggested that then he'd do it sooner and maybe she'd felt like she coerced it no matter what he said.

"Do things on your own time then Zac," Natalie told him as she reached up to put her hand on his cheek. "And don't do it just because you think I want you too or that it will make me get with you."

"I don't expect it will," Zac told her with a tiny smirk. "But I can hope can't I?" he asked and the way he kept his smirk made Natalie roll her eyes.

Instead of saying something snarky though she leaned in and kissed him before she could think over her decision.

She just wanted one more kiss from him before she left. A kiss that she could remember him by until she saw him again because who knew when that would be?

Natalie surely didn't know and so she savored the kiss, letting her eyes fall shut when Zac returned it eagerly and once again she moaned out into the kiss.

Though this time it was when she found her back against the wall, a part of her was surprised that Zac had pushed her against it and another part of her not complaining at all.

Instead she closed her eyes tighter and kissed Zac a bit harder. Shivering when his hand went to rest on her waist, his fingertips barely resting some against exposed skin as her shirt had gotten pushed up.

When Zac's lips trailed from her own down onto her neck Natalie did her best to ignore the wetness forming between her legs but it was hard.

So fucking hard.

"Zac," she whimpered out knowing they needed to stop things, they needed to stop this before they crossed anymore lines and couldn't come back from the stuff they had done.

Before Natalie lost all her resolve.

"What?" Zac asked on her skin and the goosebumps formed on her arms as the wetness between her legs seemed to get worse.

"We should stop," Natalie muttered out unsure how she even was able to get the words out. It was so hard with all Zac was doing to her and making her feel.

Her brain wasn't functioning right at all at the moment.

"Should we?" Zac questioned and once again his breath hit her neck and she found herself moaning, hating what Zac was doing to her.

Nodding her head that was all Natalie was capable of, especially when her brain was fuzzy and her body was on fire.

"This is wrong," Natalie was finally able to mumble out though even to her own ears her words sounded weak and like she didn't really mean them.

"Maybe so but we both want it don't we?" Zac asked before biting on her neck and Natalie felt her eyes close as she moaned again and good lord she was really pathetic.

Zac was making her a horny mess when she should have been getting ready to go to the airport with Isaac.

At the thought of Isaac, Natalie opened her eyes and pushed Zac away some but not too much. She could still feel his body heat on her. "Isaac is probably going to be in here any minute to get me so we can go to the airport. I really don't think he wants to walk in on us like this."

Watching as Zac frowned, Natalie knew then that at least Zac knew she was right even if he didn't agree with her putting a stop to things he knew she was right and he wouldn't argue with her.

"Right," Zac nodded his head as he frowned more. "I'm sorry," he sighed and Natalie hated that he was apologizing.

"Don't," she told him, putting a finger to his lips. "I like what happened but we couldn't do anything more than that and it's probably best we didn't but I liked it Zac," she said wanting him to know she wasn't rejecting him in any way even if to him it seemed that she was rejecting him.

Zac once again nodded his head and he moved farther away from Natalie. A small part of her hating the loss of his body heat near her own.

"Have a safe trip back home," Zac told her so low that she almost didn't hear him and before she could say anything else Zac was moving away from her and Natalie was left alone in the guest bedroom.

She was left alone with her confusing thoughts and feelings.

It was the last thing she wanted but apparently it was what she needed it seemed.

Or at least someone thought she needed it. Karma probably and Natalie had always hated karma. She'd never been a big fan of karma at all.

But with how she'd been in the last few days it seemed karma had come for her in some small way anyway.


End file.
